Sensitive

I wished my father, Happy Birthday on his 58th Birthday last week. Wow, he's already 58 huh.He was complaining that he's now taking a pain killer due to his back-ache.  Yeah, none of us is getting younger. I pray for Abah to be blessed with health, Amin.

Me, myself and my father? Our relationship is no longer ordinary like we used to be. Well, this is not something new tho. I've 'detached' from my father since I was 18 years old, perhaps? He has chosen his own path, his own life. I move on with my own life, my own path. It was never easy for me. I buried all of my heartbroken with anger and hate so that I can suppress all my tears and forget how much I miss him. At times, I pretend that he never existed in my life. Sounds so cruel? Well, just at times. But only Allah knows how much I miss my father, but I know things won't be like before. 

I remembered I cried on my cousin's wedding reception when my father said goodbye. Of course I didn't cry in front of him. You think you are so macho? Or it's just my ego? That night was a minor havoc tho. Anyways, that night also, I've been crying on my way back home, while I was packing my stuff for my Vietnam trip. Hmm, luckily I was going to Vietnam, so I managed to 'archive' that incident for a while. No one ever noticed. I think.  

But, not too long to be archived, that day when I had meeting with my auntie & uncle for my youngest brother's engagement preparation, my uncle asked me, "May I know what did he said to you until you cried that bad?" Owh, no...  Guess what happened? I cried!!!! I can't even say anything, I was choking and crying, in the middle of people having their lunch at Restoren Syed, PJ!! =_=" Cenggeng me! Pfft.. Believe me I would have never thought I would cry. It seems that 'Abah' topic is my very 'touchy' topic. I never knew that it would affect me badly. So, after I've pulled myself together, I told my uncle, "The part that he said nothing, was the reason I cried so bad. I was hoping he said more like ,'I'm going to miss you, 'I love you' but I know he won't say such things." I've made my auntie cried too that day. See, crying is contagious. Haih... 

Some fathers are fighting to get for their children's custody..Some been struggling to spend time with their children..Some said that their children are the reason they are here, living and alive now.. Some don't even bother about their children's existence.. Some children don't even bother about their fathers..Some wished their fathers are still alive, for they have not spend much time with them..Some like this, some like that... That's life...

I have a father, they have theirs...

But why should I envy their relationship with their father?

Such feelings, it just did, I didn't made it up...

I love you, Abah. 
It's okay if you never replied 'I love you too." 

Guess whether am crying or not while typing this entry? Of course I didn't :)

Relax....

Yeahh, I need to relax.....

Photo From ДЯт Ōƒ ρīç……© ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠

p/s: Before talking : connect the TONGUE to the BRAIN

Panic Button

My issues now is having difficulties to determine when to press my 'panic button'. Can I have a less dramatic life? Not easily panic...Be cool and able to analyze the real situation first? I almost had a minor 'heart attack' just now, for what? For nothing serious.... Pfffttt... Come to think of it, I realized that all this while, I have this one problem, which I thought it was nothing, I easily get shocked or frightened or terrified. As  simple as people patting my shoulder. Not too sure whether this thing contributes to my panic issues and though it seems so common, even I myself thought that it was nothing. Until what happened today, I sort of turned numbed and blurred, and worst, I feel pain in my chest. My blood was rushing to my face, my heart was beating very, very fast and I was sort of feverish. We've heard some people would say that we would easily get fever when they were in shocked. *sigh* 

The simple issues today, was just the simple 'P/S' issues but I fail to get the other party to understand the reason I've been so panicked just now, cause I just panicked and 'burst' everything. I failed to get my message across. If I asked nicely, things would have been better. I think. I keep on "Why..why..why.." =_=" Until he said, "Are you done?" Aiyak, luckily he's not my boss, if not, my job will be at stake.  I think...again.. =_=" As much as he really wanted to scream at me, he didn't......Thank you T_T I was the one screaming just now.. Warghhhhh~ Am sorry... I really am.... but the issues settled.. but..I don't feel good... Hmm~

Seriously, I think this is quite serious =_=" I think I really need to control this....panic-stricken issues..  The problem is, I don't know how. How to pause for a while and give myself some space to think before act. Is there any course that allows me not to respond or reply in panic condition? I need to learn to stop and think, pause and analyze, if you know what I mean? To better be safe that regret? Of what I might have done or said? Haihhhh~ Or am I being dramatic now?? I cannot distinguish it myself!

Googled Image

A Date With My Mom...

"Ha awak teman la Umi, rugi satu bilik tu dah bayar pun..." Ye, itu adalah kali yang kesekian kalinya, Umi ajak teman dia pegi Family Day ofis dia... =_=" Bukan taknak pegi, the next daynya my Aunt a.k.a her younger sister akan berangkat ke Mekah. Tapi, demi Umi, Ha turutkan. Gerak dari Gombak around 3.00 p.m. Highway was so smooth and by the time we arrived simpang masuk Janda Baik, cuaca masih terang. :) So, tak lah spooky sangat. Tapi yang menjadi masalahnya, balik karang. Umi has decided to balik KL on the same night, so that we can send my Auntie to Tabung Haji at 6.00 a.m the next day. Hermm~

Dah kat dalam Janda Baik tu, sepanjang perjalanan Umi akan cakap, "Kita ni dah sesat jalan, Ha.." "Tak laaaa ade depan tu." Tak pun titibe pulak rasa tak yakin & tiba-tiba tanya Umi, "Ye kot, kita dah sesat, Umi.." Tapi setiap kali masing-masing berada dalam 'kesesatan' tu, logo 'HAWA Resort, 5KM' akan kelihatan. =_=" Umi pun dah naik bosan, "Dari tadi 5KM je, Ha.." Pemanduan berhemah diteruskan, maklumlah, jalan Janda Baik ni banyak liku, tu pun ada jugak yang merempit. Cet..  Sekali sekala, Umi nyaris heart attack sebab, 'driver' suke-suke hati stop kereta, and at times I didn't stop my car pun.. sebab nak amik gamba.. Ehehehe~ Well, as I said again and again, paparazzi is my middle name.. :P Dan akhirnya sampai ke destinasi!!! Alhamdulillah~

The place is not that bad, very clean! I like :) The sound of the river, fresh air, away from the hustle and bustle of the city life. Ewah~ Sampai-sampai, harus berposing :) My mom jenuh melayan anak dia bergambar. "Umi, kejap jom pose." "Umi, jom amik gamba." "Umi, tak bergambar kat sini lagi." "Umi....."  Hahaha...Anyways, the event organizer have prepared some refreshments for tea time - bubur kacang, roti, tempeyek, etc. Nasi campur pun! =_="

I love our room! Not too big, not too small, not too spooky, just nice! Hahaa... My mom went inside the room first, while I was taking the photo of the name of our room - Gaharu. Sudah gaharu cendana pula... :P As I opened the door, my mom has given her best pose... =_=" Errrr... "Ha, amik gamba Umi, Ha..." Wow, she's easily influenced. Hahahaa...Toilet on our right, and bathroom on our left. Yeah, I like this room :) Too bad we didn't stay as we had to go back to Gombak that same night, to send my Aunt to Tabung Haji the next morning. As early as 6.30 a.m.  x_x Well, lucky am 'Alonso' wannabe :)

 

Nevertheless, we managed to join their 'grand' event - dinner and lucky draw. Got the opportunity to solat Maghrib berjemaah and the musolla is sooo clean.. How I determine the cleanliness?? Because I couldn't find any lizard 'poop' anywhere, be it in our room or in musolla itself. Huhuhu... Or maybe there's no lizard at that place at all? O_o Impossible!

Each family will get one table, imagine if my mom going alone? She'll be sitting alone on her own!!Luckily, I've accompanied her.........T_T Dramatic, as if she cannot mingle around. The organizer gave us some fruits for each table, so classic.. Hahaha... The lucky draw prizes was not that bad and the best part everyone, staff only,  would have the opportunity to win one. Owh, lucky them... They also celebrated birthday 'babies' from October to December, lump sum!! Hahaha.. There were five cakes to be cut... While I was busy taking some photos, suddenly, I saw my mom do some writing and I wonder, what is she doing? Owh, then I realized that she needs to give the opening speech later! I think that was the first time, or maybe second time, I saw her giving speech. Once she started to 'talk,' not so easy to get her to 'stop.' Hahaha.. Like mother, like daughter? :) Though it was raining during the day, that night, the event went well, Alhamdulillah.

Throughout the event, I've been trying to 'self-take' our photos using my android.  I think I've taken 10-15 photos. =_=" But the 'self-taken' photo was not so nice. "Senget!!"  "Tangan awak halang la, ha" "Alaa, goyanggg..." "Alaaa, gelappp!" "Cuba pose belah sini pulak...."  Grrrrrrr........ I think we've caught one of my mom's staff attention. Bet he's tired seeing  us 'pose and error' Wakakakakaka~ He came to us and said, "Puan, biar saya amikkan gambalah..." =_=" Dan inilah hasilnya.. :) Kan senang!! 

Well I guess this mini 'teambuilding' with my mom, went so well :) Alhamdulillah...

p/s: But I've made my own conclusion that I can't live next to the river, it will trigger my sinus and I've been coughing and coughing..... How to stay in UK then... :P

Me Sox, Your Sox..

Every time I got the chance to babysit the two munchkins, they will make sure I would read them story books. Last night, I had to read not one or two but four story books for them :) It's common for me to wear my sleeping socks, but Caca decided to wear her socks too. Ryan was not interested to wear one....Then we pose... and pose.. and pose... well.. just our socks... haha... 

  

p/s: Huhu... I heart, kidney, lung them so muah!

Don't You Remember?

Don't You Remember - Adele

When will I see you again
You left with no goodbye
Not a single a word was said
No final kiss to seal or anything
I had no idea of the state we were in

I know I have a fickle heart
And a bitterness and a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head

[chorus]
But don't you remember
Don't you remember
The reason you loved me before
Baby, please remember me once more

When was the last time
You thought of me
Oh have you completely erased me from your memory
I often think about where I went wrong
The more I do the less I know
I know I have a fickle heart
And a bitterness and a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head

[chorus]
But don't you remember
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before
Baby, please remember me once more

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hope that you find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

[chorus]
Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before
Baby, please remember me once more

p/s: This song was introduced by Lisa but I love this version. 

Don't you just love British accents.. :) Oh yes, Good Luck la to Lily as I'll be listening to this song whole day.. You'll remember this song forever....hahahaa

So Sweet~

My lovely housemate prepared breakfast for me this morning :) Delicious home-made 'benjo hot dog.' While I was driving, I can't wait to reach my office. Alhamdulillah, thank you, Babe!

 

 

p/s: Nice breakfast view, don't you think?

Chào Các Bạn!

It was quite a last minute plan.. But, yeah... I went to Vietnam.. Thanks to Wina & special thanks to my good friend, Mr. Montserrat :) Without you, I won't be going to Vietnam. Ewah!! Wakakakakakakaa! Anyways, Wina & her friend left earlier on Thursday. Myself & Montserrat took the Saturday flight and we were suppose to meet up with Wina & her friend in Na Thrang. But, things didn't happened according to what we had planned. Nevertheless, I considered this trip as my best, fun & exciting trip :) Some happy photos to be shared with all of you. Happy scrolling! :)

Coffee for two at LCCT :)

On the air plane - spot the difference.. Hahah.. Nowadays, Word Search on Ipad la... Hello!!

He had this....

Erm, I drink this... Boringggg~

Yepp, hot seat! Hahahaha...

Welcome to Ho Chi Minh City!!!

The airport is very clean!!

Backpacker? Nahhh...

Randomly snapped this photo :)

Bumped into my ex-collegue, Sayed Zaki. Of all places....I met you in Vietnam???? Hahahaa..

Waktu solat @Vietnam :)

Budak ni sangat comel!!

Merayap time!!

The best mango in Vietnam!!

Well, not the best cashew nuts la... Layan laaaa....

 

Confused? Huhuhu... They even speak Malay language..

Due to the unforeseen circumstances, we had to find Hotel..... So, lets go...

After surveying 8-10 hotels, this hotel met my criteria - room not too big, not too small, not too spooky, not too cramp, same floor & same row with Montserrat room & most important thing, clean & no funny smell!! Phewhh.. Not that much, right.... and thank you Montserrat for your patience!

Some more, they have this cute girraffe decoration :)

We hang out at the hotel lobby, watching TV since it was raining...

The next day, our breakfast - Nasi Lemak!!!!!!!

Beware, he might overcharge you!

Syed Zaki asked us to join their group for lunch at Halal Saigon

a.k.a Iced Coffee

Spring Roll - Vietnam Style 8)

Cute Jelly, but...I ate anyway..

Check out their bill...

Later after lunch we went to their famous Post Office..

 

Coolness!

...and we did..er...Oppa Gangnam video clip - Vietnam Style. Hahahahah... Later after that Zaki's group left for Mekong Trip and we continue strolling around the town. :)

Montserrat leads the way..

Err.... next time no slippers, please..

=_=" 

Done strolling, jom balik hotelllllll!! x_x Penat to the maxxx!!!!!! And am hungwy!!!

My dinner!!! Yummy Pho & Cafe Suada!

Our supper!!!!! :)

The next day, we've joined other Malaysian group that we've met in Vietnam for Mekong tour.. So off to Mekong!! 

I think the arrangement is cool... Huhuhuu..

On the boat ....

Let's poke some bees.... 

They got us to drink this weird taste......royal jelly... so called.....

Coconut on the boat and super tired!! As if, am the one who was rowing the boat just now...Because of the heat I guess... I got sunburned! :(

After our Mekong tour, we went back to our Hotel to pack our stuff, managed to delay our check out time. Ample time to rest before catching our flight at 9.00 p.m.

Ehmm, check out my new shoes... Jijijiii... Thanks Montserrat for helping me to bargain.. Weee...

Cute!

Okay, ngamm!! Of course la, since I've dumped half of my stuff inside Wina's bag.. ehehehe.. =_="

My last Caphe Suada T_T am gonna miss you!!!

We bought the same coffee, hoping that it will taste the same... Apparently not... :(

Yes, it's 'sambal belacan', peeps

He claimed that most Malaysian called him.....Tomok.... errr...... 

Sorry, Wina, we managed to  Jejak kasih & snap photo together on our last day in Vietnam!

Not enough space, kan.....

Elehh, NO SMOKING, right... kikikii... We took a bus to get to the airport! Awesome experience!

Exhausted!

Malaysia-Vietnam Friendship forever! 

Awwww, Winaaa, don't cry!!! I'll cry tooo!!! T_T

Vietnam, am sooo going to visit you... again.. :) 

One thing for sure, Bangles - out trademark! 

and last but not least, enjoy this video... :)