A Leap of Faith..

I've been keeping the Mercy Volunteer form since February. Contemplating. Or probably because of the phrase that I've read in the form which I've excerpted and attached below. 

I wanted to join the international missions so called but out of sudden, I chicken out when I read "... to prepare you for what lies ahead."  =_=" The dark side of my head been creeping and hindering me..........

Why want to trouble yourself? 

Can't you just sit quietly at home watch TV

Let others be one..

Just pray and doa would enough..

Just join normal charity laa..

Why not next time...

etc, etc, etc....

So, I kept the form... Shame on you, Mudd! Then, last month, the sad and heartbreaking incident in Sabah. Coincidentally one of the heroes who passed away was my friend's best friend. Then, arwah's closed friends have initiated the t-shirt selling for fund raising and they've created the 'Support Malaysian Heroes' page in Facebook... One thing leads to another and I've been following their progress. They've been doing it all out! Kudos! What a spirit. Hmmmm...... -_____-

Their unconditional effort, struck me. I do not know how. It just did. I've been doing some 'discussion' with my own self, do some deep thinking.............

Have I done enough in helping people?

Why am so comfort in my comfort zone?

How long I wanted to postpone or procrastinate things?

Have I done any different things every year?

I've been single for many many years and what benefit and opportunity I've grabbed from being one?

I want to wait until am ready, WHEN I will be ready?

But I joined marathon, that is not so bad.. But that's self satisfaction, what about others?

I don't want to stuck like this for ever..

I don't want to die doing nothing..

Single, mundane and nothing... 

etc, etc, etc

The next day (last Monday), I compiled all of the mandatory documents for the volunteer thingy and on Tuesday I've asked my colleague to hand over the document at Mercy Office....by hand. Woah? O_o Sorry, I did what?? But, I felt so relieved... and excited? =_=" Will they accept me? Or there will be dozens of application? Should I do a follow up call? Okay, okay.. I got too excited easily.. Chill..Chill.. Inhale, Exhale. =_+" 

I feel good. I really look forward to hearing from them. But... yeah, I shouldn't have to get sooo excited.. What if things didn't work out as planned? Am not qualified maybe? Err, let's not over-thinking.. If I cannot be one of Mercy volunteer, then I can be volunteer for other events, right? I just need to start somewhere and just do it. 'Istiqamah' in what I want to do. Insya Allah.. 

p/s: or maybe I should do the follow up call? Eh~ :P