Busy Bee...

So many activities lining up for me! Am SO excited! Well, purposely occupying myself with healthy activities. Healthy la sangat! Huuhuu... What's on the list? Nah.. not that much pun....

23 May - Chicken Run Charity Run - 4.8 km je

29 May - ATV ride at Kemensah Waterfall

30 May - Kordel's Charity Walk

4th -6th June - Tasik Kenyir Expedition

7th - 10th Oct - Kuching Trip

So far, these are all confirmed activities/programs. More to come!!!! Yeah, am loving it!

p/s: Babe, sure u kata "Mudd ni memang busy kalah Rafidah Aziz!" wakakakakaka...

Remnant Feelings

Somehow this song have been playing in my mind for few hundred times today. Of course, ma. You've been listening to this song since this morning! Actually, I've been asking this song from Faralisa a.k.a Pinkjamboo before she gave birth to Ryan. Well, I've seen the video clip and I like it, I love his voice. Sungguh jantan. ;p The rest of the reasons of why I somehow so into this song...... tett... Just let it washed away.....

Aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu

Dan tak pernah aku sesali itu

Seluruh jiwa telah ku serahkan

Menggenggam janji setiaku

Kumohon jangan jadikan semua ini

Alasan kau menyakitiku

Meskipun cintamu tak hanya untukku

Tapi cobalah sejenak mengerti

Bila rasaku ini rasamu

Sanggupkah engkau menahan sakitnya

Terkhianati cinta yang kau jaga

Coba bayangkan kembali

Betapa hancurnya hati ini kasih

SEMUA TELAH TERJADI

Aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu

~Bila Rasaku Ini Rasamu- Krispatih~

p/s: just...some remnant feelings clogging in my internal mammary artery.....need to detox it ;p

Happy But Teary Tidings!

A very dear friend of mine just confirmed her wedding dates to me just now before lunch. Whoah, whether I was being very overacting or what, but I did broke down just now. Quietly broke down. Haih, hearing great news from my closed friends, really made me teary. Haha! The feelings was like - when my dear Ms. Pinkjamboo broke the news that she was pregnant. Auto-teary! Hmm, but she would always say, "Alah, you will cry over everything." hehe..mane ade... Her wedding will be in November but I would congratulate her in advance. I pray that everything goes well as planned. Insyaallah! Amin! Erm, Do I have to sign up to be your 'Dulang Girl' ;p.

p/s: feel happier when your loved one's happy. Herm, am still waiting for Lily to break any good news from her side. tett! Insyaallah...AMIN.. berusaha lebih ye wak!

Mudd's Kitchen

It seems that last weekend I was on 'cooking' mode. Bley la masak sikit-sikit, berasapkan dapur untuk perut sendiri. Babe, jangan wisau, our dapur still in one piece. ;p

Lunch on Saturday

Toasted Pasificwest fish fillet with spinach sauté with oyster mushroom

Makan semuaa!

15 minutes later....Or maybe less than that ;p

Alhamdulillah... ;p

Lunch on Sunday

Minced Beef stuffed in wholemeal tortilla then toasted in oven.

Tema sayur-sayuran sama je dengan hari Sabtu.. ;p

Halfway....

Licin!Kata nak suami soleh kan ;p

However on Sunday, that night I felt so guilty for having so 'beefy' meal during the day. Nak sedapkan hati, I've done sit-up, push-up, lunges, squatting, etc. Haih, sekadar membakar 2% daging je kot. Okey, my quota for beef fulfilled already. No beef for this month! ;)

p/s: Dah lama tak masak-masak dengan Ms. Pinkjamboo. Babe, this time around, if we cook, I think we will have an assistant la - si kenit ;p

Mawi la pulak...

Yang sebenarnya am not a fan to Mawi pun. Maybe Mawi is my big fan! Wakakakaa... Kebetulan si Mawi ni ade shooting for his latest video clip at Mesiniaga? Tak tau la which video clip, tapi ada Zamani. Tak tahan, one of my collegue being offered jadi extra, Pak Guard!? Ikutlah..Anyways, managed to snap few photos with Mawi tho.

p/s: Mawi pun Mawi lah.. World!

YOU are not his ONLY one..

I couldn't believe myself that my recuperating period is almost over. I think it's so over lah. Alhamdulillah. Semoga perasaan tenang ini berkekalan. Amin. Anyways, I've finally made some reflections, deliberation and conclusion on the previous event. Having a long-distance relationship may be hazardous if he suits all criteria that I've listed below.

1. He is lying to you on his martial status the first time you met him. Once a liar, always a liar.
2. He is very secretive on his weekends activity. Busy with part time study, yeah right!
3. He won't be answering his mobile during weekends. Guess you are busy with your full time lover.
4. He will silent his mobile every time he is hanging out with you and refuse to answer his mobile when it is ringing. Want to give full attention to me, huh? BULL!
5. He will answer his phone or reply the sms, 100 meters away from you. Herm..
6. He will suddenly stop calling without any reason. You kept on saying you're busy. Lame excuses!
7. He's saying to you "Bila awak kahwin nanti jangan lupa ajak, " while both of you are still together. How could you be so effing blind & deaf, Mudd!
8. He keeps on confessing to you, "Saya ni bukan baik sangat." Don't be too optimistic next time!
9. He will call you once in a blue moon to cheer you up and say Hi. Cheer me up or covering up? Jangan cepat melatah lepas ni, Mudd!
10. When YOU and your close friend have bad feelings about him, please stand by to back off and end the relationship! Please trust your instinct, Mudd. Instinct is the most accurate feelings.

Ada banyak lagi findings yang tak dinyatakan di atas sebenarnyer. Tak perlu reveal semua. Might not be a very solid conclusion to say that long-distance relationship is hazardous. Not all. I guess it's fair enough to say that I have been there, done that and I always believe that in long-distance relationship, if you are not his only one, "yang dekat selalu menang" and "kalau jodoh, tak ke mana." Prominently, I must face it, he's not my jodoh, I knew it, but I chose to deny it rather than to accept it.

p/s: The trouble with love is, It can tear you up inside, Make your heart believe a lie, It's stronger than your pride, The trouble with love is, It doesn't care how fast you fall, And you can't refuse the call, See, you got no say at all - Trouble With Love by Kelly Clarkson. Trouble no more, Mudd.

Double Celebration!

Fuhh, Rakusnyer, Mudd ;p

Yesterday, we've celebrated Aiman's birthday as well as Umi's belated Mother's Day. Too bad that both of my sisters can't make it last night. My eldest is staying in Sepang whereas my elder sister is staying in Karak. It's okay, Insyaallah Saturday night kita buat another reunion for Zamilah Clan okay? ;) Pejam celik Aiman dah 22 years old! He came with Umi, along with his girlfriend, Begum. Thanks, Babe for memeriahkan suasana. Nabil came with Fiza, his future wife. They're getting married on 12 September 2010 - 3rd Syawal 1431H. See how time flies. We went to Warung Terengganu, SS19. Me and Fiza had delicious Cantonese Yee Mee, Nabil, Aiman and Begum had Char Kuey Tiau and Umi had her Kuey Tiau sup, sayur extra. Tak cukup lagi, pegi suruh Nabil order 30 cucuk sate. Yang akhirnya tak abis dan terpaksa tapau then mintak Ocin & Lisa abis kan. ;p Anyways, we were reminiscing about our childhood memories. Macam-macam direcall balik. Paling kelakar, I just found out yesterday that Umi loves to karaoke!! Ke mana tumpahnya kuah kalau tidak ke nasi...wakakakakakaaa. No wonder I love to karaoke too ;p As for Aiman, makin dah besar, makin la pulak seiras with my face. My friend always tease me and said that if Aiman wears tudung, muka kitaorang akan sebijik yang sejibik. I often call him, my twins too. Happy Birthday to you, Man! Happy Mother's Day, Umi! When I wished Umi last Sunday, she replied back, "Happy Anak Day to you too!" So sweet. I love you Umi, I love you always, always and always! *HUGS*

Zamilah Clan, without my sisters

We're Twins!

New Clan? Insyaallah..

p/s: Love your loved one who loves u more!

Move On, Mudd..

...i can make it through the rain

i can stand up once again

on my own and i know

that i'm strong enough to mend...

p/s: I've cried enough, now it's time to move on as life is too short to cry over this silly pain.

Aftermath - The Realization

"Ya Allah..

I ask of You the good through Your knowledge

and I ask You to grant me ability through Your power

and beg Your favour of infinite bounty, for surely,

You have power and I have none

You know all and I know nothing

and You are the Knower of all that is hidden

Ya Allah..

If in Your knowledge, this matter be good for my faith (Din)

my livelihood and the consequences of my affairs in the world and the Hereafter

then ordain it for me and facilitate it from me and grant me blessing in it

But, if in Your knowledge this matter is bad for my faith

my livelihood and the consequences of my affairs in the world and the Hereafter

then turn it away from me and turn me away from it

and ordain for me the good wherever it be

and cause me to be pleased with it"

~Istikharah Dua~

The fact that I kept on praying and asking for the same thing, hoping for Him to show me the result according to what I want, though it was always contradicting with my instinct, I have realized that Allah has granted my prayers according to what He has planned and what He thinks the best, and just for the sake of me being protected, regardless how painful I have to go through.

p/s: indeed it was so painful...and it's still painful... Nevertheless, ALLAH is Great...

X-Ray My Heart

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart - Bee Gees

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could never see tomorrow,I was never told about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

p/s: If I got the opportunity to X-ray my heart, this is how it looks like

Mudd Mending Mode

ON RECUPERATING MODE....

p/s: I'll be back when am ready as I'm afraid at this stage I might spurt unsound and undesirable sentiment.

The Never Ending Finally Ends...

I've received the most shocking news in my life...Right before lunch today, to be exact at 11.29 a.m, I've received a wedding invitation.The invitation was not from HIM it was from HER. I received the wedding invitation for this coming Saturday, 8th May 2010. Jeng jeng jeng...I clicked on the attachment. Semua teka-teki terlerai sudah.Though, just now I was shivering and couldn't feel my own leg. My vision suddenly blurred. I grabbed my mobile phone and dialed his number. To my surprise he answered it. I asked him, "Why you didn't tell me before?" "Tell what?, " he replied. "That you're getting married this weekend." Silent. "Saya dah jadi suami orang, 1st May lepas..." Flabbergasted. "It's over, lupekan saya." Wah, easy for you to say..Why now? Why not 2 years back..NO...This is not happening, am dreaming, this is nightmare. "AWAK, lupakan saya." Oh, tak, aku tak bermimpi. Macam dalam drama but no it's for real. It's real. I can no longer hear the rest of his conversation, I can only hear my sobbing. Unbearable sobbing. There's no other option here, no turning back. He's married. OMG, macam dramalah! Then I heard something like, "Awak, bersabar." "Awak, this is not the end of the world." No..No...It's useless..Then he cut off the line. But the weep continues..Automatically, I deleted his name, photos...mana lagi eh aku letak gamba dia....Kesimpulannnya, yes, it's over. IT'S SO OVER. I just need to be strong, so hard, but have to. I have to...I have to...Now everything made sense. It was really our last meeting, and he was really saying goodbye to me. He asked me to take good care of myself..Now everything fall into places, everything he said. Too little too late to figure out and nothing much can be done though.

The only choice I have now, is to move on, and never look back. No choice to look back. All has been anticipated, BUT, I REFUSE to listen and follow my heart.. Camane nak keje hari ni...Otakku serabut.. Rase macam mimpi...I just want to get rid of the sad feelings..ASAP.. *sigh* I don't want to ask anything else now, I just pray, may Allah give me the strength and patience to see this through. He is our Sustainer and our Protector always. Indeed am sad, so sad. But it takes time, and just wish I could speed up this oppression period. As much as I wish, this is not happening...........I have to move on.....

Anyways, Thank you dear Lily , Lisa & Ezreen. *Hugs*

p/s: Now I know why.." mengapa kita tak berpisah walau kita tak pernah satu.." But I just found out the reason..in the most painful way....

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps by Cake

You won't admit you love me

And so

How am I ever

To know

You only tell me

Perhaps perhaps perhaps

A million times I ask you

And then

I ask you over

Again

You only answer

Perhaps perhaps perhaps

If you can't make your mind up

We'll never get started

And I don't wanna' wind up

Being parted broken hearted

So if you really love me

Say yes

But if you don't dear

Confess

And please don't tell me

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

If you can't make your mind up

We'll never get started

And I don't wanna' wind up

Being parted, broken hearted

So if you really love me

Say yes

But if you don't, dear,

Confess

And please don't tell me

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

Yes or no, I dunno...

p/s: I thought of putting a cake picture, but I have cupcake picture only laa. Bedal lah...

Happening Penang!

Woahh...I was so excited updating my blog on little Ryan Iszkandar until I've forgotten to update on my previous Penang trip. Anyways, just to recap, I was being assigned by my boss to participate in Penang Career Fair at PISA Stadium, Penang.

Our flight last Friday was at 9.45 p.m. departed from LCCT. Thanks to my bro & his gf who helped us with the transportation. Thank you, Belon & Fiza! It was slightly a bumpy flight but Alhamdulillah, sampai dengan selamat. Took a cab and off to our hotel - B-Suite Hotel. Since it's a new hotel, so everything is still new and so nice and indeed SWEET! ;p Besides Career Fair, macam macam aktiviti ade! Malas nak bercerita panjang lebar kali ni, just nak attach the photos. ;)

Inilah harapan Mesiniaga - myself and dear Ayuniza! Thanks, Babe for accompanying me. ;)

B-Suite Hotel - Scweet! So spacious and I think we can shuffle & main pingpong! Cume Cafeteria dia je la turn off - macam kantin hospital! Tett..stop complaining Mudd..

Jom la keje kat Mesiniaga!! Best tau, sebab ada Mudd! Wakakakaka...

Kami telah ditindas & ditipu oleh peniaga di Penang!!! Ade ke dua2 breakfast ni RM 9.50!! Pepandailah dia menjawab di akhirat nanti! Tett!

These are the vacancies that we have in Penang!

Thanks to our Penang folks - Henry Dibble & Kak Yati :)

Dah penat bekerja, inilah masanya nak berjimba - seafood @ Hammer Bay! Super delicious! Thanks Elton!

Having dinner by the sea side!! Kat KL tak dapat kot.. ;p

We went to Queensbay Mall and bought 2 pairs of shoes each! Mine blue & white color - 4 inches please! Dan sekadar pose depan TGIF je ;p Pose tu diambil beberapa saat sebelum menaiki Taxi haha..!

Last day & last pose at PISA ;p

Program kat Penang tak habis lagi! We went to Gleneagles Medical Center to visit my colleague who just gave birth to a cute little baby boy!! What a double JOY for me last weekend! Congrats to Azu & Rizal!

COMEL KAN!! His name is Abdul..erm,nama seterusnya akan diberi pada hari Ahad ni. Sunnah katanya beri nama anak pada hari ke-7 selepas lahir? Yeke? ;p

Akhir kata penutup tirai, before off to Airport, Kak Yati & husband telah belanja kami makan Char Kuey Tiau yang sangat lazat near by PISA stadium! What a complete weekend!!

P/S: Anyways, our flight was delayed for half an hour due to bad weather and on Monday both of us was on leave ;p

Dear Ryan Iszkandar...

My dearest Ryan Iszkandar,

I cried the very moment your Mummy told me she was pregnant.
I cried again on the day she said it was a boy.
And again I cried when Mama called to inform that she heard you screaming.

I love you so much little Ryan Iszkandar.
I love you unconditionally.
I promise.

Love,
Auntie Mudd

p/s: Ryan, your Auntie Mudd is very de 'cenggeng' you know. ;p