Aftermath - The Realization

"Ya Allah..

I ask of You the good through Your knowledge

and I ask You to grant me ability through Your power

and beg Your favour of infinite bounty, for surely,

You have power and I have none

You know all and I know nothing

and You are the Knower of all that is hidden

Ya Allah..

If in Your knowledge, this matter be good for my faith (Din)

my livelihood and the consequences of my affairs in the world and the Hereafter

then ordain it for me and facilitate it from me and grant me blessing in it

But, if in Your knowledge this matter is bad for my faith

my livelihood and the consequences of my affairs in the world and the Hereafter

then turn it away from me and turn me away from it

and ordain for me the good wherever it be

and cause me to be pleased with it"

~Istikharah Dua~

The fact that I kept on praying and asking for the same thing, hoping for Him to show me the result according to what I want, though it was always contradicting with my instinct, I have realized that Allah has granted my prayers according to what He has planned and what He thinks the best, and just for the sake of me being protected, regardless how painful I have to go through.

p/s: indeed it was so painful...and it's still painful... Nevertheless, ALLAH is Great...