Hurt Morning..

M:Assalamualaikum, lama tak dengar khabar. I text you last Syawal pun tak nak reply. I text "I Miss You" this morning oso you never reply. Jawab phone pun lambat. I thought you don't want to answer my call just now.
MH: Sorry la, been busy. So, how's life?
M: Alhamdulillah, everything's okay so far. Tempat keje baru pun Alhamdulillah..

(The conversation continued for 10 minutes)

M: Okeylah, ade rezeki lebih nanti, I will come down and visit you. The last time I met you was last year if am not mistaken.

MH:Tak payahlah.
M: (Flabbergasted) Kenapa pulak?

MH: I've changed. Time has changed me. You don't expect me to be the same person before.

M: Well, I believe one same thing for sure that my name still bintikan your name!
MH: Yes, that's for sure. But just face the fact, am not like before, so just forget it. If ade rezeki adalah.

(Quickly end conversation politely)

So guess what's next? Of course I cried.
Of course I have to call my consultant cum counselor, the double L..
For what? Angry? Sad? Frustrated? I'm not too sure.
For having a father who don't want to be one?
He said many things that hurt me a lot, of course I didn't put our whole conversation. For what..

Immediately this thought came across my head, can I omit his name from my doa'? I just pray for Umi ajelah.. Astaghfirullahala'zim. Don't say or make decisions things when your heart & mind is not stable. *sigh*

This is my fate.
This is the test that Allah has given me and my siblings.

Alhamdulillah.

p/s: Thank god, it didn't ruined my Tuesday..and thanks to my two Ls