Kenapa Menangis....

Suatu pagi yang tenang sesudah hujan di kala subuh tadi, saya pergi ke ofis berkobar-kobar dengan satu misi - siapkan keje! *semangat* Gedebak-gedebuk buat keje, disulami bergurau senda dengan teman-teman sekerja, tak lah stress sangat. Namun, 'cuaca' tenang jangan sangka tak ade ribut. Tiba-tiba, saya terima satu panggilan yang merubah suasana kerja yang tenang........ I've made a blunder mistake in one of my most crucial work, not yet 'fatal' but still, am doomed! Seketika terngia-ngia kata my good friend, "If you do your work right at the very beginning, you don't have to do double work later" Shoots! Cuba mengawal emosi panik yang sedang membuak-buak, membuat sedikit kajian tentang kesalahan yang dilalukan, dalam masa yang sama menyalahkan diri sendiri kerana tidak berapa tegas dalam mengendalikan keje... Warggh... Kesimpulannye tetap.....You're doomed, Mudd! Terpaksa drag 'orang lain' masuk untuk nego on the issues and made few phone calls. STILL... :'( Kali ni terpaksa tarik 'orang besar' in the loop dengan harapan 'berkongsi' kadaan yang belum pasti dapat diatasai ke tidak.... Only one way to do.... I have to sort of begging... *sigh* via email, but in much appropriate and professional way, more or less, 'cc' la ke semua orang.... Cuba mencari 'seseorang' untuk alternative kedua, dia tak ade kat ofis, call hp pun tak jawab. Left my voice message. Tapi masalah belum di atasi...! WARGGHHH....Thank god, I have the most supportive colleague and Manager who always give their supports. Tapi stressnye Allah je yang tau, air mata bley berderai je anytime, tapi pasal keje je kot, nape pulak la sampai nangis kot? Tengah kemuncak panik tahap ke 8, handphone berbunyi...it was my mom.... "Ye, Umi?" Suara cuba dikawal untuk mengaburi perasaan berkecamuk. "Ha, awak ape cerita? Keje okay...?" Aik, umi ni ade psychic power ke ape??? Guess, it was mother's instinct. Maka, berderailah air mata tak dapat ditahan-tahan lagi.... Bilik file kat hujung office menjadi saksi.....

So, persoalannya, kenapa saya kena menangis? Umi tanye kabar je kot? *sigh*

Out of all people, it was my mom who called me, out of blue! The part that she told me "Ha, kalau Ha ade ape-ape masalah pun, Ha jangan berahsia dengan Umi, sikit sebanyak Umi mesti tolong awak punya! Umi ni mak awak, Ha." Wowowo...Neeeeenooooneeenooo... Tisu! I need tisu! Nasib baik, berjaya signal to Lily. She was quite shocked to see me crying . Haihh..Was I being too emotional? Could be.. But to me, what touched me the most, dah la dia ada masalah sendiri, saya sendiri pun jarang call, jarang jumpa, sekali sekala je melepak bersama, and yet, dia boleh tiba-tiba gave me a call to check on my condition? Rase berdosa je! :( I said to her just now that am sorry if I've ever treated her bad, if I've ever broken her heart... Lately, memang jiwa tak tenteram, maybe I've been keeping too many things inside, and just now it just 'burst' . I can't hold it no more. My mom said we should end our conversation, "Umi rase sampai sini dululah, lain kali kita borak lagi, kalau tak Umi rase, Umi pun join nangis dengan awak, oke?" Cute but I was crying like mad. :( I told her I love her so much. The least I can say to comfort myself at that point of time. And our conversation ended. Hasil dari menangis, short term effect, mata bengkak, Kak Liza pun perasan. Later effect, kepalaku pening! I cannot cry, it will end up migrain. *sigh*

Kesimpulannya, my mom might not be the best or the perfect mother, nobody's perfect pun. True, dia suka beleter non-stop, satu nafas, and hang up on you while you were talking, and you don't even got chance to defend yourself. At times she has different plan that snaps you, titibe nak match-making pulok doh? Whatt??? *sigh*

It doesn't matter...... Umi is the best gift from Allah to me and my siblings.
and I LOVE HER SO MUCH... and that matters the most!

Umi, I love you so much..